Forgiveness

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I used to have the biggest problem with forgiveness. It was so difficult for me to let go of hurts and let go of those people who have hurt me. It’s because I was so broken and I looked to humans to love me perfectly. They won’t. No matter how hard I tried to let go, those pains would always come back to me and it would leave b i t t e r n e s s in my stomach.

It was because I was looking to others to fulfill in me what only God can. The hungry thirst for His perfect love, His perfect wholeness, His perfect  f o r g i v e n e s s.

It wasn’t until the Forgiver Himself forgave me. He forgave me of literally every wrong I’ve done, every bad thing, big and small. All the darkness within. He forgave it all, at a time when I couldn’t even forgive m y s e l f.

Once I tasted His spiritual cleansing and refreshing forgiveness, it freed me. It freed me not only to forgive myself, but to forgive others. He took my weakness and made His power alive in me, giving me the ability to forgive and let go the tight grip I had on hurts and on people.

Some forgiving I had to do happened momentarily at my conversion, when I was filled with His love, and some other forgiveness in my heart occurred through situations and circumstances that have come up in my life that God used to teach me and cling to His love first. I had to “let” Him heal hurts, letting His tenderness and sweetness hold my heart secure. With His work in my heart, He helped me overcome unforgiveness. It was only by His power in my life and His gentleness in my heart. With each new season and each new challenge, He taught me, He grew me, He refined me.

He loved me in ways that are so sacred and holy and divine.

My heart couldn’t resist, and I didn’t have room any longer for g a r b a g e in my soul because He removed it all and flooded me with His light. With His sweet love. And He will continue to do it until I’m ready to see His glorious face.

With His wholeness in me, I no longer look to others to fulfill in my life what they could never possibly fulfill. They aren’t perfect, and will not love me perfectly, and that’s okay. I’m not perfect, but the one who I S perfect forgave all of my imperfections. He has taught me to run to Him with any hurt I face in life.

I was forgiven of a l l my sins against a perfect, holy God, and it has freed me to forgive other people’s sins against an  i m p e r f e c t  me.

If Jesus Christ was abandoned and denied by His closest followers, yet He still forgave them, I can certainly forgive people in my life who have hurt me to such a lesser degree. All of my sins against my righteous just Creator are incomparably more than a few sins against me by others. And He forgave my despicable sins against Him. E v e r y single one of them. So it frees my own soul to forgive.

He frees us to forgive, and with forgiveness, He frees us to truly love others. It’s only by J E S U S. When we experience the true love and forgiveness of God Himself, we’re able to forgive others and release them from our own chains of unforgiveness.

With God comes healing. Of our hearts and our relationships.

If you’re having trouble forgiving and feel any hurt in your heart towards another person, ask God to make you aware of His perfect love for you and His full acceptance of you. You might be in so much hurt and pain. But God’s love is so much g r e a t e r. Run to God and God alone. Jesus’ love breaks the chains of unforgiveness in our hearts. Sometimes immediately, sometimes through persistent prayer and abiding in Him over time.

But HE WILL, because HE IS.

Jesus heals broken hearts.

 

{Matthew‬ ‭18:21-35}
“Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.

{Hebrews‬ ‭12:1-3‬}
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.”

{Hebrews‬ ‭4:14-15‬}
“So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.”
‭‭

 

Two Years Ago

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Before Him I was nothing. I felt like nothing. I was an empty shell, so fragile and broken and ugly. The fierce fire of this world burnt me to mere ashes. There was nothing in me, and I was dead in my sins.

But then He came.

And He swept me off my feet. In the most enchanting way, He consumed my heart with His deep love. And I drank until I was drunk. And He filled this empty vessel of mine with blinding Light. And with that Light,

I fell in love.

He set His love on me. His mercy on me. The most beautiful Being in existence took a wilted flower and made her beautiful. Vibrant. Alive. Loved. My Righteous Knight, so lovely and wise, healed me and made me whole.

And I will never let Him go.

I will cling tightly to my King forever and I’ll never loosen my hold on Him. Not for all the money, power, fame, family, fortune. I’d choose the dangers of poverty, homelessness, loneliness, and even death for Him. I have to have Him to be mine, forever.

I would choose Him over any luxurious thing. I’d choose any dangerous thing for Him. In one single heartbeat, I’ll choose Him over anything and everything.

He’s my treasure. Now and forever.

It was two years ago that He saved my soul. It was two years ago that I became truly alive. It was two years ago that I met my Maker in sweet love and complete union. It was two years ago that I fell sold out, on fire, madly, passionately in love with Jesus, my Saviour.🌹

December 17th, 2014.

White as Snow

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It is completely and absolutely unfathomable to picture a world in where this did not come from a Designer, an Intelligent Being beyond our humanity. It is absurd to visualize that this beautiful, complex, mathematically precise design did not come from the hand of God. How can something like this come from a chaotic explosion with no causality and no purpose? It is so overwhelmingly obvious that this is designed.

It’s utterly glorious! Only Beauty Himself could make beauty like this!

And this is the reason I will spend my entire life evangelizing the name of my God, and bringing hearts closer to Him. Because I’d bet my entire life on the existence of God. And yes, the God of the bible, because there is only one truth, one way, one life. All other false gods are easily self-refuted when you look deep into and study these other religions.

Except One.

Jesus. The First and the Last. Beginning and the End. Alpha and Omega. In Him all things were created. From whom all things were made. And if you study the God of the bible, He is the only One who could create this kind of breathtaking beauty.

It matches His attributes, His character, His love. His glory, His perfection, His wisdom.

I will spend the rest of my life proclaiming the name of Jesus Christ to whoever will listen to me. Because something as tiny as a single snowflake speaks volumes.

It shows of a Creator outside of our existence, outside of our intelligence.

And if there IS a God, then there is accountability. With accountability comes the inevitable fact that you will indeed stand before God once your life on earth is over. And if you’re going to stand before God, it would be very wise on your end if you spend your life searching for Him, find exactly what He wants, and do it.

What does He want?

He wants you to feel the weight of your sin in comparison to His holy perfection. He wants your heart genuinely seeking Him out. He wants you to confess that you’ve sinned against Him and you fall short of His glory. That you can’t do it on your own and you cannot save yourself. He wants you to ask Him for forgiveness. He wants you to recognize who He is and that He sacrificed His perfect self on the cross for your wretched imperfection. And only He can save you. He wants your heartcry.

In this, He gives so much more. He forgives us, past present and future. He justifies us and leaves us guiltless. He regenerates us and transforms us into a completely new creature with a new nature, just like that. He fills us with His Holy Spirit. He sanctifies us. He looks at us as holy and righteous and loves us with more love than we can ever dream. He becomes closer and more intimate to us than our next breath. And it’s glorious.

He gives us Himself in heaven – a gift so great that I get emotional thinking about it. It’s too much for my heart to contain. We will stand before Him spotless and white – as white as snow!

We’ll be like this snowflake: pure, beautiful, radiant.

He will bring us into paradise, a place where He Himself dwells. A place too magnificent to comprehend.

He gives us everything. He gave us Himself.

The greatest advice I could ever give any soul on earth is this: please make sure when you die and stand before Him, you won’t try to run and hide in terror, but that you can face Him in love and see His arms outstretched ready for your embrace.

What do you want?

Do you want the love of God or the anger of God? There is no in between, no neutral, no lukewarm. You have one life to live on this earth, and trust me, it matters what you believe.


{Matthew 10:28}
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.


{Revelation 6}
Then everyone—the kings of the earth, the rulers, the generals, the wealthy, the powerful, and every slave and free person—all hid themselves in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains. And they cried to the mountains and the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of the one who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb. For the great day of their wrath has come, and who is able to survive?”


{Isaiah 1}
“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool. I will remove all your impurities.


I will lock eyes with the One who’s ransomed me, the One who gave me joy for mourning. I will lock eyes with the One who’s chosen me, the One who set my feet to dancing.✨

His Faithfulness

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One thing that You have never stopped displaying to me in both little and extravagant ways is what a faithful God You are. Your faithfulness never ends, and I’m continuously amazed by You. You’re such a good God and You’re amazing to love. I love that my heart is set on You, and that You are so tender and gentle and protective with it. I love that You are so involved in my life and so covered by Your presence and that I’m tightly in Your hands. I love that You hear my prayers and in my sweet whispers in the night, You respond. You are devoted to me and when a human soul is blessed with Your devotion, You never stop proving that You are faithful and true. You love loving me in extravagant ways and in ways I could never tell in a public format, because they’re special love moments shared between us. Secrets in the quiet place and things too amazing to be explained in words. I delight in being Your locked garden and it is ecstasy that I get to be faithful to You. Of course I’m weak and at times I fail but it only highlights Your perfection and unending devotion to me. Words can’t articulate what a bliss it is to love and be loved by You.

You are Faithful and True. 


{Lamentations‬ ‭3:22-25‬}
“The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him.”


‭‭{Song of Songs‬ ‭4:12‬}
“You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain.”


‭‭{Revelation‬ ‭19}
“And I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse, and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and wages war. His eyes are a flame of fire, and on His head are many diadems; and He has a name written on Him which no one knows except Himself. He is clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. From His mouth comes a sharp sword, so that with it He may strike down the nations, and He will rule them with a rod of iron; and He treads the wine press of the fierce wrath of God, the Almighty. And on His robe and on His thigh He has a name written, “KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.””

God is Limitless

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We human beings are SO limited. But our limitations draw us to the one who is limitless in all of His ways, the one who is infinite in glory and abounding in deep love. Our limitations speak of our need for a perfect Saviour, a perfect God who can fill all our holes, heal us completely, forgive us endlessly, and make His power known and perfected in our weaknesses! There is no satisfaction like that of a soul falling in the arms of their Maker. He has no limitations and when we’re His, He loves us completely and fills all our jagged edges and cracks with his bright light, making us vessels of His beauty. There is nothing like Him!! Being close to God is the closest thing to bliss one can experience on this earth.